The question I get asked most is, “what’s the hardest part about being in a long distance relationship?” The simplest answer I have is “everything,” but I know that’s not helpful or specific. A few days ago, I got to see my boyfriend, Alex, for the first time in almost a month. It was amazing, but then I had to come back to Alabama. I know some people have it worse than me, but only getting to see Alex once a month has been hard on me. Last week I was working on a present for him when I began thinking about the hardest parts about being in a long distance relationship. And here’s what I came up with.
1. Not being able to touch, hug, kiss, see, hold, talk to, or just be there with them.
2. The way people judge your relationship and how you choose to handle it. Every relationship, long distance or not, is different. But somehow, when you’re doing the long distance thing, people find more ways to judge.
3. Getting into fights over stupid little things like your significant other going out instead of calling you or when they don’t respond to your texts.
4. The slight fear that one day your significant other might just stop loving you…all because you’re not there.
5. The price of things: the cost of a plane ticket, the cost of gas, how much it costs to ship presents. There’s also the fear that you might send them something and it gets lost in the mail.
6. The loneliness you feel. You could be sitting in your apartment watching TV or sitting in class listening to a lecture when it hits you. You can’t control it, but immediately you feel a sense of loneliness. It’s crippling at times but you can’t even go to them for a hug to make it better because they’re so far away. The littlest things can set it off. Like seeing a friend in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend or when “your song” comes on the radio. Or looking at pictures from the last time you saw each other.
7. Knowing the only dates you get for most of the month are Skype dates. Skype is a wonderful invention, and I absolutely love it. But nothing in the world will ever compare to a face-to-face date.
8. The jealousy that you know is absolutely ridiculous but you just can’t help. It hits you when you think about the fact that there are people who get to see your significant other every day and take their presence for granted.
9. The sexual frustration. Maybe this is a bit TMI, but it’s true. There are times you just want to lay in bed and cuddle and make out and have a sexy romantic evening together. But you can’t.
10. The pain you feel when you feel like your significant other is having an easier time with the long distance relationship than you are. Then the pain you feel when they are down in the dumps and you’re okay. It’s a never-ending cycle.
Obviously there are more than 10 things that make long distance relationships hard, but these are the 10 that I think about most often. And I think they’re true for many other long distance couples as well.
If you think of something else that’s hard about your long distance relationship, comment and let me know!